All illegal immigrants currently residing in the United States should be found and receive their punishment immediately. The people of America have begun to notice a change; the change in which the U.S. lands are constantly being bombarded by the waves of immigrants. Sources C, F and E give us a vague idea about the current problems the country is going through. As well as identifying the problem, it also suggests on ways to minimize the effects of the problem. The problems that are caused are economic hardships, the workforce is becoming weaker, and expenses are shooting through the roof, personal injury increasing as well, including mental and physical, and many others.
How does the presence of Illegal Immigrants affect us? According to source “C”, “The People of California”. The article informs us that because of Illegal Immigrants the people have suffered tremendously. Because of “Aliens”, the people were beginning to have security issues as well as their faith in federal agencies. “Aliens” were also the reasons behind the expenditure of the state of California. Source “E” also has a similar outlook on this matter, “Millions in our country who violate.” The people were ready to accept immigrants into their society, but even though they did, the immigrants did not obey their laws.
Population changes in the previous years have been massive. This would mean that honest Americans would become unemployed, resulting to more expenditure from the government. According to source “F”, the immigrant’s population, from the year of 1996, has doubled to a population pf 11 million in the recent years. This resulted in thousands of job shortages, and also resulting in crime. “If an automatic “path to citizenship”…” This would mean that if the government had offered amnesty, the entire illegal immigrants population would be legalized, which would be cruel to the legal immigrants who earned their citizenship.
Why is the American Treasury constantly losing money? Because of the constant wave of immigrants, who do not feel the need to legalize themselves, and also because of the cost and labor to track the “Aliens”. Throughout the years, illegal immigrants have been stealing the jobs of true Americans. They control 24% of the work present in farming alone. All of their salaries are undocumented because of no paper work. This would result in no taxation, as well as no income for the government. According to data-analysis of the year 2005, 12.4% of the births taken place in the US, were immigrants.
The government needs to make a decision, it needs to make changes. It needs to limit the years of residency given, as well as enforcing rules and laws. They need to protect Americans, as well as the Legal Immigrants. Even though it would cost great amounts to deport the “aliens” it would still result in a cheaper price.
Could someone read over my essay?
Your intro is wayyyyy to long. Ideally, AP essay intros should be 2-3 sentences long. Why are you incorporating support in the intro?
Your thesis is muddled. How can you make it more concise?
Using a sentence as a transition is weak writing.
You need to start with the thesis. Formulate a thesis that clearly identifies your position in addition to the main reason behind your position. I realize you have three points, which you don't have to list in the thesis, but you'll need to put those three points under an umbrella of sorts... Kind of like this:
Illegal immigrants should be given every opportunity to remain in the US as long as they adhere to the established policies.
I would then discuss two or three policies to which they should adhere.
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