Please help me please please ITS VERY URGENT PLEASE?

Ok, so I wrote this for my conclusion paragraph, I need help editing it. THANKS for the HUGE FAVOR.



Because of Scientific Revolution and Enlightenment, the way people looked at natural world around them, changed. The change thus brought into the world did not come easy. There were a number of problems and difficulties they were in the way of Enlightenment. Those emperors and rulers who thought that this will reduce their power and influence created hurdles in the way of Scientific Revolution and Enlightenment. Even those who wanted to accept the Enlightenment intended to use these to expand their empires and increase power. Enlightenment requires social justice and happiness. Not every one agreed with this idea. Some of the churches and Governments thought that they have sacred duty to protecting the old order. These Governments in order to stop the ideas of Enlightenment from spreading imposed censorship. They burned the books and imprisoned the writers.
Please help me please please ITS VERY URGENT PLEASE?
Both the Scientific Revolution and Enlightenment changed people's way of looking at the natural world around them. This change, however, did not come easily. Many people tried to stop Enlightenment and created a number of problems, difficulties, and hurdles to prevent it. There were many emperors and rulers who, at the time, thought that Enlightenment and a Scientific Revolution would reduce their power and influence. The few rulers who wanted to embrace Enlightenment intended to use it only to expand their empires and increase their power. Also, the churches and governments saw it as their duty to protect the old order from the new ideas of social justice and happiness that went with Enlightenment. Their form of action was imposing censorship. In order to stop the ideas of Enlightenment from spreading, these organizations burned books and imprisoned authors, thereby maintaining their control.



I think that sounds better. Hope you like it!
Please help me please please ITS VERY URGENT PLEASE?
No one can accurately evaluate your conclusion paragraph without reading the body of the essay that came before.
Sorry, I'm too lazy to edit this whole thing :X.

But don't start any sentences in a formal paper with BECAUSE or anything, like BUT or AND er anything .

Start the whole thing with DUE TO or something;



Glancing through this, the word ENLIGHTENMENT seems to be said a lot. Not knowing if it's necessary every time it's said ; again, I didn't really read this .

My English teacher always says %26quot;vary your sentence starters%26quot;.

For instance, you can't always start every sentence saying THE . you know ?

I actually don't think you did, Just mentioning that o_o





%26quot;There were a number of problems and difficulties they were in the way of Enlightenment.%26quot;

Run on sentence?

Stop before THEY WERE.

I think.

Or no, I don't know what you mean. Did you mean THAT WERE.. ??





%26quot;Those emperors and rulers who thought that this ***will*** reduce their power and influence created hurdles in the way of Scientific Revolution and Enlightenment.%26quot;

You're mixing past and present tense. Change WILL to WOULD.

Again with

%26quot;Some of the churches and Governments thought that they ***have*** sacred duty to protecting the old order.%26quot;

have = had.



And INDENT ! ;D.